As a twenty-something, I often struggle with my inner battle of “I’m still young and need to have fun while I can” and “I need concentrate on building a grown-up future for myself”.
The media equally displays those of us in our twenties with the same dilemma. I’m forever reading articles titled: 30 Things You Should do before you’re thirty and Why You Shouldn’t Settle In Your Twenties. But then I’m equally bombarded with celebrities/YouTubers owning their first homes at 22 and bringing out their third novel before their 25th birthday.
I have mentioned in previous blog posts that social media can be one of the worst places to compare yourself to your peers. It seems nearly every week someone is posting a proud photo of their keys to their first house or announcing they’ve got a huge promotion at work. And then on the flip side, others have quit their 9 to 5 jobs in favour of seeing the world accompanied by dreamy Instagram feeds of them sipping cocktails out of a coconuts on a beach in South East Asia with the hashtag #MondayMorningVibes.
So here I am, like many others my age, feeling as though I’m stuck in the middle. I am filled with uncertainty of what EXACTLY I’m doing with my life, so often I lean towards saying I’m only young once as I try my luck in the precarious worlds of acting and blogging. But I am also starting to want more grown up things. I’m not 18 anymore, and I need more than a night out with my friends to fulfil my life. I want to move out of my parents house and in my dreams eventually own my own home. And one day (not any day soon mind!) I would like to have my own family and with that I would like to be able to provide for them.
And not to mention the fact that I actually like growing older. I have friends a few years younger than me who are petrified of their next birthday with the fear of becoming “old”. But I look back on a younger me, and I was nowhere near as happy in my own skin as I am now. People’s opinion of me matters far less with every year, as I grow more and more comfortable in the person I am becoming. And that’s only going to continue the older I get. I think it’s easy to idealise our teenage years, but does no one really remember how awkward they actually were?! If I had the chance to go back I would DEFINITELY give that a miss!
So what is a twenty-something to do? I’ve been debating how to end this blog post for a good while as I don’t really have the answer! And maybe that’s because there isn’t one. And that’s what makes it so hard to know the balance between starting up a savings account and spending the whole of Tuesday in your pjs watching an entire Netflix series.
So for now, I’m going to focus on what makes me happy. Spontaneously booking a holiday to Ibiza one week (YOLO and all that) and setting my alarm at 7.30am another week to work and graft for my career and future. And actually making sure I eat my five a day. And leave the house sometimes to get some fresh air.
I’m not ready to give up happy-go-lucky Marcella yet (and hopefully I never entirely will), but I’m also happy to embrace growing up. Ish.