1 How to stay calm in an apocalyptic situation
Because running underneath a colourful parachute in PE with 29 other 5 year olds in darkness, it felt as though the ceiling was falling down, as you desperately escaped to the other side, is basically the same thing.
2 GIRL POWER
The Spice Girls taught young girls and women everywhere to embrace who they are. And posh spice taught us you don’t need to be a good singer to be in one of the most successful girl bands of all time. But I think we all agree that there was something they got wrong. If you wanna be my lover, please DON’T get with my friends. That ain’t cool.
3 Not everything in life comes easily
Rainbow Road on Mario Kart. I’ll say no more.
I personally remember stuffing my Furby at the back of my wardrobe under a pile of jumpers as it would NOT STOP talking. Those little furry devices needed attention 24/7. And if you didn’t feed your Tamagothci every hour it would die. Made you think twice before begging your mum for a pet.
5 Leave your eyebrows alone
The thin little line’s arched over peoples eyes as a result of over plucking, was not a good look. Leave your eyebrows to the professionals. And if something does go wrong, thank the beauty gods for Benefit eyebrow products.
6 Bringing dinosaurs back isn’t the best idea
Jurassic Park showed us that IF it is possible to bring back dinosaurs, we probably shouldn’t. (And also learn from your mistakes as things did not end up better in Jurassic World.) But if you ever do see the water in your glass moving, there is a very strong possibility that a t-rex is about to eat you.
7 The lyrics to Wonderwall by Oasis
Because it wouldn’t be the end of a night out if you didn’t have your arms around all your best friends emotionally screaming out those beautiful words after 6 beers, 2 double vodka lemonades and 3 shots of sambuca.
8 The blurred lines in a relationship when you are on a “break”
The Ross and Rachel drama was definitely a big lesson in how things can go wrong for a couple who actually are destined to be together. It might make you think twice about your actions. You don’t want to end up shouting the famous Ross catchphrase “WE WERE ON A BREAK”.
9 Never give children drinks with high amounts of sugar in them
The original Sunny D turned the quietest, most timid 7 year old into a screaming monster who could run circles around Usain Bolt, just to crash 10 minutes later and need to be carried to the car as they are fast asleep. “How about a nice glass of water kids?”
10 Candy sticks are a cooler alternative to smoking
One of the best things to receive in a party bag was a small box, usually with a superhero on the front, containing several thin white sugary sticks. And obviously you had to pretend to smoke them before biting into them. A far less life threatening, tastier, albeit sugary pass time to enjoy. (I found some in Poundland the other day if anyone now has an urge to buy some.)
11 There IS enough room for two people on a raft
Come on Rose. If you just budged up a bit, Jack could have survived. We all know it.